Everyone’s the Problem

Why the war was never between us—it was always in us 🪞

You and I at some point have said it before.At dinner. In the car. Scrolling our feed.

“How can they seriously think that? Are they actually that blind?” “They just don't get it?”

And the wildest part is...They’re sitting at their table saying the exact same thing about you.Same tone.Same righteousness.Different beliefs.Same loop.

Everyone thinks they’re the one who sees the world clearly.And that’s exactly why nothing changes.

We’re stuck in this performance—this cycle where everyone’s either yelling, diagnosing, proving, saving, or pretending they’re “above” the noise.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth I’ve had to swallow:

Trying to convince the other side might be the most useless, performative, and avoidant thing we do.

It feels like you’re doing something. It feels like activism. Like compassion. Like awakening.

But if we’re honest—it’s just distraction dressed up as virtue.

And yeah, I’ve done it too.

I’ve sent the voice notes.Posted the quotes.Shared the books.Thought, “Man, if they just hear it this way, maybe they’ll finally get it.”

They don’t.

And it’s not because they’re evil or stupid or “asleep.”It’s because that belief they hold?That’s their fragment.

Not just a thought.It’s their coping.Their structure.Their identity.It’s what kept them safe through whatever they’ve lived through.

Truth isn’t some whole glowing orb everyone’s either found or hasn’t.It’s more like a shattered mirror—broken into infinite pieces.And every person is holding one of those shards, calling it the truth.

So when you come in trying to hand them your piece,you’re not enlightening them—you’re pushing your identity onto theirs

And what do we do when we feel threatened?

We defend.We resist.We shut down.

Here’s the real mind-bender:

Convincing others feels like courage.But it’s usually just avoidance with a halo on top.

Because as long as I’m analyzing you,I don’t have to examine me. And as long as you defend you yourself, you don't get to examine yourself

As long as I’m “helping” you wake up,I don’t have to sit with my own discomfort, my own confusion, my own contradictions.

So we go in circles.Shouting across timelines.Writing paragraphs into the void.Hoping someone finally says, “You’re right.”

And if they do?It still doesn’t fix anything.

Eventually I had to stop and ask:

How am I part of the problem?

Not because I’m wrong—

but because right and wrong don’t even exist.

What if we’re all 100% right and 100% wrong 100% of the time.And yeah, that paradox took me a while to really get.Not because it’s complicated.But because it’s too simple.

Everyone’s seeing through their own lens.Everyone’s carrying their own fragment.And everyone’s calling it “the truth.”

But it’s not the whole mirror. So it never will be. And that's the point.

And that’s when something hit me:

The world isn’t broken.It’s fragmented.And those fragments are on purpose. By design.

This place—this life—it’s not some messed-up thing we’re supposed to heal or mend or unify from the outside.

It’s a mirror. Scattered across billions of people.

It’s meant to be chaotic.Meant to be clashing.Meant to trigger you.

So you can see what part of you is still projecting. Still clinging. Still needing your piece of truth to be the truth.

The external world isn’t here for us to save.It’s here to show us what needs to be seen within. So that we can grow, evolve and enjoy the process that gives us purpose.

And when we finally start unifying inside ourselves—we stop needing the world to look different to feel whole.

Because we see it for what it is:

Not broken. Not wrong. Not lost. But perfectly designed to reveal us to ourselves.

There is no battle.Just reflection.

That’s what You Before Me is really about.It’s not a slogan.It’s not a brand.It’s not about being selfless or “doing the right thing.”

It’s a tool.A mirror. A mechanism for watching your own loops in real time.

Because the truth is—we don’t just have a single identity. We’re moving systems. Three parts, always shifting: Ego. Shadow. Soul.

That’s what the 33.3% model gave me—language for the dance.

And it’s not fixed.It’s fluid. Like beakers constantly filling and emptying.

That’s when something shifts.

You stop trying to win.Stop trying to fix. Stop trying to correct every wrong take you see online or at the dinner table.

You just start witnessing. And when that becomes your habit—not your performance—everything changes.

Because here’s the thing we miss:

Change is organic. It doesn’t happen because you yell loud enough.It doesn’t happen because you proved a point.It doesn’t even happen because you were right.

It happens when you stop adding fuel to the fire. When you stop becoming an echo in a modern saturated noisy world.

The world has always had opposing forces.That’s not broken. That’s how we grow.

But if you don’t understand your own system—your own beakers—you’ll see everything as a battle to win.

Truth becomes a scoreboard. Self-awareness becomes a costume. And the world becomes something you need to save…instead of something you can finally use to see clearly.

But when you actually observe yourself—when the Mirror Voyage becomes a way of life?

• You see how you attach.

• You notice how your truth is still just a piece.

• You stop being triggered by other people’s beliefs—because you see the fragment they’re clinging to… and recognize it’s no different than yours.

And now?

You stop trying to change them. And that’s what actually creates the space for change.

Not because you forced it. But because you stopped resisting who they are to avoid who you are.

That’s the paradox:The only way out…is within.

Not to win. Not to rise above. Not to become “the better person.”

But to witness.

To live.To observe. To understand.To hold space.

And the moment enough of us are doing that? The war for some perfection utopian world falls apart.The noise quiets. And we stop building our identity around a broken mirror.

That’s what You Before Me. gave me.

Not a fixed truth.Not a shiny solution. Not a way to be “good.”

Just the space to stop performing long enough to see yourself clearly.

And when that happens?No one has to change the world. Because we finally stopped being the ones holding it back.

And so the world begins to breathe again.

Because the endless shouting even for a moment softends. And when shouting stops people begin to do something else.

They’re listening.

By finally, finally—looking in the mirror.