BECOME MORE BY BECOMING "LESS".

The Paradox of Ego and the Illusion of Identity

 

1. Introduction: The First Identity – “Me”

At the beginning of our journey, we are defined by labels and experiences:

• "I am [name], [age], [gender], [ethnicity], [nationality], [career], [success], [failures]."

• "My story is my truth."

• "Who I am is the sum of what I’ve done, what I’ve been through, and how others see me."

This identity feels solid, real, unquestionable—a structure built by experience and environment.

But who built this structure?
Who placed these bricks, and why do we defend them so fiercely?

2. The Introduction to Ego – Awareness Begins

At some point, we hear about the ego and see it as an obstacle:

• "The ego is arrogance."

• "The ego is the false self."

• "Overcome the ego, and you’ll be free."

It feels like a breakthrough. We now have an enemy—something to destroy, something to transcend.

But here’s the trap: We never stop to question why ego exists in the first place.

Instead of dissolving it, we create a new identity—one that prides itself on being “above” ego.
This is where the loop begins.

3. Rabbit Hole Hoppin' – The First Loop

With this new awareness, we dive in, consuming everything on ego, consciousness, and self-awareness.

• We read philosophy, psychology, spiritual teachings—all variations of the same core truth.

• We think we are expanding, but we are really just circling the same ideas with different words.

• We mistake intellectual progress for real transformation.

The mistake? Believing that seeing the problem means we’ve solved it.

4. The Castle of Self-Knowledge – A New Form of Ego

With this knowledge, we construct something new—a fortress of understanding.

• We become proud of our “awareness.”

• We identify as someone who “knows better.”

• We still hold onto an identity—only now, it’s built around being self-aware instead of ignorant.

But the ego hasn’t disappeared. It has just changed form.
We haven’t escaped it—we’ve just given it a new name.

And just like that, we’ve built a new castle.

5. The Realization – “Why Do We Keep Building?”

One day, we stop and ask:

• "Why do I keep constructing these beliefs?"

• "Why do I keep seeking more understanding?"

• "What am I protecting?"

The answer is simple:

Because this is life itself.

We are meant to build castles.
We are meant to identify, to construct meaning, to establish beliefs.

And we are also meant to tear them down again.

This is not a mistake.
This is the process.

Each castle we build is a necessary illusion.
Each castle we pull apart reveals another layer of truth.

6. Meeting the Shadow – The Self Beneath It All

Every time we dismantle an illusion, we meet something deeper:

• The wounds we didn’t see before.

• The beliefs we thought were truths.

• The fears we were unknowingly protecting.

This is the shadow—the parts of us we have yet to integrate.

And this is why we keep building and breaking.
Because each time, we find more of ourselves beneath the ruins.

7. The Importance of Ego – Why We Must Play the Game

Here’s the paradox:

We are the mirror—the awareness.
But we are also the reflection—the identity.

And we are meant to be both.

Ego is not the enemy.
Ego is the necessary tool of experience.

• We must act as our identity.

• We must build castles to protect and define ourselves.

• We must engage fully in life—as a person, as a mind, as a being with emotions and desires.

But we must also learn to tear it down when the time comes.

Because this is the dance.
This is life.

8. The Unspoken Moments – What “Becoming More” Feels Like

In rare moments, when the cycle aligns, we experience something beyond words.

Moments where we are fully in life, fully engaged, yet unattached—
A glimpse of something infinite.

It is not found in books or teachings.
It is not a permanent state to achieve.

It is a moment—and it looks different for everyone:

• Laughter that makes time disappear.

• Overcoming something with someone we love.

• Helping a friend, a stranger, or even ourselves.

• Sitting in pain and realizing we are still whole.

These are the moments people call enlightenment.
Not because they are grand, but because they are real.

Moments where we are both the mirror and the reflection, yet attached to neither.

9. The Never-Ending Spiral

This process is infinite.
We will build new castles.
We will form new identities.
We will tear them down again.

And each time, we will uncover more.

Not because we are lost.
But because this is what it means to be alive.

So don’t fear the ego.
Don’t fear the castle.
Don’t fear the cycle.

Build. Break. Discover. Repeat.

This is becoming more by becoming less.